The Prodigal Son

This is one of my favorite parables and I love Dr. Stanley's approach.  See here.

http://www.intouch.org/broadcast/audio-archives

Restored By Grace Parts I and II

Thursday and Friday, November 11th and 12th

Back to the Blog

I have decided to re-open my blog to the public and start posting again.  I started this blog several years ago as an outlet to discuss the (mostly faith) concepts that were banging around in my head.  I have been feeling a desire lately to be more open and honest with myself and the world around me about who I am and what I believe. At the core of that honest expression is the fact that faith in God the Father, his Son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit is central to my life.  Over the past year I have been experiencing just how important it is to put that faith into action...to build a personal relationship with them to allow them to love me and lead me.  As I have done so, I have been able to face more truth about myself, who I really am and who I want to become.  Who I am is me.  Quirky, intelligent, neurotic, obsessed, loving, kind, talented, me.  And God loves me just the way I am.  He loves me so much that He sent His perfect Son to die in my place.  And all He asks is that I turn over everything that I am, place myself on the potter's wheel and allow Him to shape me and make me something beautiful.  I believe that "all things work together for good to those that love God" and I am striving to recognize and apply that truth moment by moment, IN the moment. 

In my current "moments" I am working to tackle my weight issue.  I returned to Weight Watchers and the gym, and now just need to figure out how to stop inserting calories into the pie-hole.  I am also discovering how to be a mom from a distance and am working with God on the truth about who He really is and where He wants me to serve right now.  Through this all, I have been extremely blessed with good friends, a loving family, and a best friend who shares beautiful moments with me through music and nature.  God has been and continues to be so GOOD to me.  In spite of these blessings, I have times when I get overwhelmed, feel confused about what direction I should take, and struggle with perfectionism.  My goal through this blog is to get some of those feelings out into the open and share how I am learning to "let go" and trust God more.  Thanks for reading...please share your thoughts and perspectives from your own journey.  I learn so much from all of you!

Recognizing and Feeling God's Love in my Life

This summer, during July and August, my goal is to post here at least a couple of times each week and share how I have witnessed God's love in my life.

I feel like I need to just let God love me...with no strings attached....with no expectations...

I will be documenting how I experience that love.

For example, yesterday I felt His love as I was able to spend some time outdoors in the beautiful--somewhat cool--summer evening and just enjoy the blessing of being alive.  I was able to spend time with a kind and loving friend and feel loved.  I travelled safely from work to home and was able to talk to my two sisters during the day.  The evening drive home offered a view a a beautiful full moon and reminded me of the incredible and beautiful earth I have been blessed to live on.

Searching for Peace

This past year has been quite grueling on a personal level. I faced down a big change I needed to make in my life and while this change is a positive step in the right direction, it has still been difficult to make. I must admit I feel a bit lost. I know that these feelings of confusion and disorientation will pass and are a normal part of transition but it doesn't make it any easier. I swing between emotions of sadness, broken-heartedness, and excitement and freedom. Is there a Ben and Jerry's flavor that will soothe this pain and calm my fears? Sadly, even if there were, the relief wouldn't last (except to show up on my thighs where it does no one any good). The real relief I need comes in the form of the balm of Gilead. I need my Savior right now...to remind me with His peace and comfort, that "all these things shall give thee experience" and that I am safe. I am somebody. He is mindful of me. I am His.

The Gift of Friendship

I have always admired humble individuals from all religious (or non-religious) paths....who, with no thought of themselves, power, position, or agenda quietly live their lives and serve those around them. I have been blessed in my life to have several amazing examples of just such people. One of these is a former Bishop from my youth. He was never my Bishop because he presided over the adjoining ward, but he still influenced my life. As an adult--thanks to the merging of the two wards--I have had the opportunity, when visiting, to see more of him and his family. They continue to be examples to me of authentic and genuine friendship. Recently, as I struggled to deal with some transitions in my life, he was a great sounding board....and this humble man, who to the best of my knowledge has worked as a custodian all of his life...was able to lift my spirits during our conversation. He was able to touch on all the areas of which I was concerned and was able to give me a greater perspective of who I really am and what truly lies ahead. I am so grateful for those in my life who "accept me as I am but still gently invite me to grow". I hope to become more like them and offer the same love and acceptance to those in my circle of influence.

Journey of Self-Discovery

I am moving/downsizing to a new apartment in the next couple of weeks. While this change has me feeling a bit anxious, it also feels like an exciting opportunity to move onto the next leg of my life's journey. I am going to be living in my own "four walls" and will be 100% responsible for my shelter and my livelihood. I can do this. This new arrangement is going to provide me with the challenge of continuing to learn and discover about how to build a healthy and fulfilling life.

What Matters Most

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYhDhiojBPA

Fragile but Frank Testimony

I fasted last Saturday/Sunday for the strength to have the courage to face down a tough decision I have been needing to make. I was overwhelmed with some important insights as I took time to pray, reflect, and retreat from my daily concerns.

Insight #1: I am incredibly stubborn and can easily slip into being prideful. Daily scripture study and honest and sincere prayer are essential to my ability to work on this weakness.

Insight #2: When I turn away from the Lord and His guidance, I am actually choosing to do things "the hard way" and make it more difficult for myself in the long run.

Insight #3: Change and transitions are difficult for me and my first instinct is to shut down, grit my teeth, and just get through them. Heavenly Father waits there for me to open up to Him, share my concerns and fears, and guide me through the process.

Insight #4: No matter how much I learn I am still desperately imperfect and need the Lord's guidance and forgiveness in my life.

I was humbled as I re-read President Monson's reminder to "never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved." I realized that I had been focusing so much on what I thought were "problems" or "situations" to get through that I had forgotten to just love myself and those around me.

I am one of the seminary teachers this year and I need to remember this as I teach these great youth about the truths of God's love.

I am actually anxious and excited about church this Sunday. I am looking forward to the opportunity to fast again, reflect on what matters most, renew my covenants, and listen to the testimonies of my fellow ward family members.

I am so grateful to a loving Heavenly Father who sent His son to mark the path and show me the way--who continuously invites me to come unto Him and for His spirit which testifies of the truth and comforts me. I have much to learn but I am so grateful that I know of God's love.

Living a covenant-based and atonement-based life "experiment"

From August 1, 2009-July 31, 2010 I am going to engage in the following behaviors and measure the impact they have on my personal happiness and growth and development: 1. I want to take a leap of faith and pay a FULL tithe and a generous fast offering. 2. I want to read my scriptures daily and have personal morning and evening prayer (and really talk to my HF). 3. I want to magnify my calling as seminary teacher and ward music chairman. 4. I want to obtain, store, and rotate my year's supply. 5. I want to attend the temple at least 2X a month and try for weekly visits. 6. I want to write in my journal/track my personal progress at least once a week. 7. I want to complete the Young Women's personal progress program. 8. I want to exercise daily, eat healthy foods, and get enough rest. At the end of the year I want to report on how the above activities have impacted my personal feelings about faith, hope, and charity, and which activities, if any, have brought me closer to the Savior. To a challenging (and hopefully fulfilling) year. **I understand that I may fall short and may not accomplish everything that I set out to do, but that is where living the "atonement-based" life comes in and I will just pick myself up and keep moving forward. Thanks for being an important part of my life. I am grateful for your good influence. Julie

You split me and you tore my heart open and you filled me with love

I have been engaging in meditation lately and have found that it helps immensely with my ability to sleep well.  One of the phrases from meditation that has touched me is the following:

 

"You split me/ and you tore my heart open/ and you filled me with love."

 

I feel like this is what the Savior has done for me.  As I have humbled myself to learn from the experiences of life--even the ones that tear me apart--I find I am filled with an overflowing measure of His love that then enables me to love others in a way I didn't know was possible.

 

We are each here to walk our own path.  My job is to offer love to all of my fellow travelers (including myself).

 

The Authentic Self is the Soul Made Visible

I have been reflecting on all the different "roles" I currently navigate in my life. As I have done so, I have been thinking about how to ensure that I am being authentic yet appropriately protected in the various situations I find myself. There are cultural "rules" that apply to many of these roles (such as in the workplace, in American society, etc...) and I want to be more mindful of how I am expressing my authentic self in an ethical manner regardless of the cultural setting or the current role(s) that apply to that setting.

What roles apply to you and how do you navigate all the different cultures and settings in which you find yourself?

Exploring Ethics

A Framework for Thinking Ethically

This document is designed as an introduction to thinking ethically. We all have an image of our better selves-of how we are when we act ethically or are "at our best." We probably also have an image of what an ethical community, an ethical business, an ethical government, or an ethical society should be. Ethics really has to do with all these levels-acting ethically as individuals, creating ethical organizations and governments, and making our society as a whole ethical in the way it treats everyone.

What is Ethics?
Simply stated, ethics refers to standards of behavior that tell us how human beings ought to act in the many situations in which they find themselves-as friends, parents, children, citizens, businesspeople, teachers, professionals, and so on.

It is helpful to identify what ethics is NOT:
Ethics is not the same as feelings. Feelings provide important information for our ethical choices. Some people have highly developed habits that make them feel bad when they do something wrong, but many people feel good even though they are doing something wrong. And often our feelings will tell us it is uncomfortable to do the right thing if it is hard.
Ethics is not religion. Many people are not religious, but ethics applies to everyone. Most religions do advocate high ethical standards but sometimes do not address all the types of problems we face.
Ethics is not following the law. A good system of law does incorporate many ethical standards, but law can deviate from what is ethical. Law can become ethically corrupt, as some totalitarian regimes have made it. Law can be a function of power alone and designed to serve the interests of narrow groups. Law may have a difficult time designing or enforcing standards in some important areas, and may be slow to address new problems.
Ethics is not following culturally accepted norms. Some cultures are quite ethical, but others become corrupt -or blind to certain ethical concerns (as the United States was to slavery before the Civil War). "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" is not a satisfactory ethical standard.
Ethics is not science. Social and natural science can provide important data to help us make better ethical choices. But science alone does not tell us what we ought to do. Science may provide an explanation for what humans are like. But ethics provides reasons for how humans ought to act. And just because something is scientifically or technologically possible, it may not be ethical to do it.

Why Identifying Ethical Standards is Hard
There are two fundamental problems in identifying the ethical standards we are to follow:
1. On what do we base our ethical standards?
2. How do those standards get applied to specific situations we face?
If our ethics are not based on feelings, religion, law, accepted social practice, or science, what are they based on? Many philosophers and ethicists have helped us answer this critical question. They have suggested at least five different sources of ethical standards we should use.

Five Sources of Ethical Standards

The Utilitarian Approach
Some ethicists emphasize that the ethical action is the one that provides the most good or does the least harm, or, to put it another way, produces the greatest balance of good over harm. The ethical corporate action, then, is the one that produces the greatest good and does the least harm for all who are affected-customers, employees, shareholders, the community, and the environment. Ethical warfare balances the good achieved in ending terrorism with the harm done to all parties through death, injuries, and destruction. The utilitarian approach deals with consequences; it tries both to increase the good done and to reduce the harm done.

The Rights Approach
Other philosophers and ethicists suggest that the ethical action is the one that best protects and respects the moral rights of those affected. This approach starts from the belief that humans have a dignity based on their human nature per se or on their ability to choose freely what they do with their lives. On the basis of such dignity, they have a right to be treated as ends and not merely as means to other ends. The list of moral rights -including the rights to make one's own choices about what kind of life to lead, to be told the truth, not to be injured, to a degree of privacy, and so on-is widely debated; some now argue that non-humans have rights, too. Also, it is often said that rights imply duties-in particular, the duty to respect others' rights.

The Fairness or Justice Approach
Aristotle and other Greek philosophers have contributed the idea that all equals should be treated equally. Today we use this idea to say that ethical actions treat all human beings equally-or if unequally, then fairly based on some standard that is defensible. We pay people more based on their harder work or the greater amount that they contribute to an organization, and say that is fair. But there is a debate over CEO salaries that are hundreds of times larger than the pay of others; many ask whether the huge disparity is based on a defensible standard or whether it is the result of an imbalance of power and hence is unfair.

The Common Good Approach
The Greek philosophers have also contributed the notion that life in community is a good in itself and our actions should contribute to that life. This approach suggests that the interlocking relationships of society are the basis of ethical reasoning and that respect and compassion for all others-especially the vulnerable-are requirements of such reasoning. This approach also calls attention to the common conditions that are important to the welfare of everyone. This may be a system of laws, effective police and fire departments, health care, a public educational system, or even public recreational areas.

The Virtue Approach
A very ancient approach to ethics is that ethical actions ought to be consistent with certain ideal virtues that provide for the full development of our humanity. These virtues are dispositions and habits that enable us to act according to the highest potential of our character and on behalf of values like truth and beauty. Honesty, courage, compassion, generosity, tolerance, love, fidelity, integrity, fairness, self-control, and prudence are all examples of virtues. Virtue ethics asks of any action, "What kind of person will I become if I do this?" or "Is this action consistent with my acting at my best?"

Putting the Approaches Together
Each of the approaches helps us determine what standards of behavior can be considered ethical. There are still problems to be solved, however.
The first problem is that we may not agree on the content of some of these specific approaches. We may not all agree to the same set of human and civil rights.
We may not agree on what constitutes the common good. We may not even agree on what is a good and what is a harm.
The second problem is that the different approaches may not all answer the question "What is ethical?" in the same way. Nonetheless, each approach gives us important information with which to determine what is ethical in a particular circumstance. And much more often than not, the different approaches do lead to similar answers.

Making Decisions
Making good ethical decisions requires a trained sensitivity to ethical issues and a practiced method for exploring the ethical aspects of a decision and weighing the considerations that should impact our choice of a course of action. Having a method for ethical decision making is absolutely essential. When practiced regularly, the method becomes so familiar that we work through it automatically without consulting the specific steps.
The more novel and difficult the ethical choice we face, the more we need to rely on discussion and dialogue with others about the dilemma. Only by careful exploration of the problem, aided by the insights and different perspectives of others, can we make good ethical choices in such situations.
We have found the following framework for ethical decision making a useful method for exploring ethical dilemmas and identifying ethical courses of action.

A Framework for Ethical Decision Making
Recognize an Ethical Issue
1. Is there something wrong personally, interpersonally, or socially? Could the conflict, the situation, or the decision be damaging to people or to the community?
2. Does the issue go beyond legal or institutional
concerns? What does it do to people, who have dignity, rights, and hopes for a better life together?
Get the Facts
3. What are the relevant facts of the case? What facts are unknown?
4. What individuals and groups have an important stake in the outcome? Do some have a greater stake because they have a special need or because we have special obligations to them?

5. What are the options for acting? Have all the relevant persons and groups been consulted? If you showed your list of options to someone you respect, what would that person say?
Evaluate Alternative Actions From Various Ethical Perspectives
6. Which option will produce the most good and do the least harm?
Utilitarian Approach: The ethical action is the one that will produce the greatest balance of benefits over harms.
7. Even if not everyone gets all they want, will everyone's rights and dignity still be respected?
Rights Approach: The ethical action is the one that most dutifully respects the rights of all affected.
8. Which option is fair to all stakeholders?
Fairness or Justice Approach: The ethical action is the one that treats people equally, or if unequally, that treats people proportionately and fairly.
9. Which option would help all participate more fully in the life we share as a family, community, society?
Common Good Approach: The ethical action is the one that contributes most to the achievement of a quality common life together.
10. Would you want to become the sort of person who acts this way (e.g., a person of courage or compassion)?
Virtue Approach: The ethical action is the one that embodies the habits and values of humans at their best.
Make a Decision and Test It
11. Considering all these perspectives, which of the options is the right or best thing to do?
12. If you told someone you respect why you chose this option, what would that person say? If you had to explain your decision on television, would you be comfortable doing so?
Act, Then Reflect on the Decision Later
13. Implement your decision. How did it turn out for all concerned? If you had it to do over again, what would you do differently?

This framework for thinking ethically is the product of dialogue and debate at the Markkula Center for Applied Ethics at Santa Clara University. Primary contributors include Manuel Velasquez, Dennis Moberg, Michael J. Meyer, Thomas Shanks, Margaret R. McLean, David DeCosse, Claire André, and Kirk O. Hanson.
This article appeared originally in Issues in Ethics, V. 1, N. 2 (Winter 1988).

Balance

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8v4RqL54PQ

My Monday Night Commune with Castlewood

http://www.onetruemedia.com/shared?p=857c7545e99052238fedaa&skin_id=601&utm_source=otm&utm_medium=text_url

Day Trip to Nauvoo

These are pretty purple flowers and a picket fence in front of Brigham Young's home. The day in Nauvoo was a nice way to spend the Sabbath.

Some Rules from www.pragmaticbuddhism.org

The Rules

Gamble's Rule
When your work speaks for itself, shut up.

Starr's Law
Worry is interest you pay on money you didn't borrow.

Einstein's 2nd Rule of Relativity
Try not to be a person of success, but rather a person of value.

Lillian's Legacy
There are beings in this world whose sole function in your life is to allow you to acquire good karma, practice patience and build character. And sometimes they are all too easy to find.

The Rule of Expectations (Mark Twain)
Expecting life to treat you "fairly" because you're a good person is like expecting the bull NOT to charge you because you're a vegetarian.

The Second Rule of Expectations
An EXPECTATION is a Premeditated resentment.
Contributed by Julia

Rule of Just Compensation
Nobody can be paid enough for a job that politeness can be left out or ignored. The price paid by the employer or the employee (or both) is the loss of humanity.

Rule of Cheap Lessons
The only lessons really worth learning are those that are the most expensive.

Rule of Politeness
Impoliteness, like confrontation, is sometimes an act of violence, and it is always an act of aggression.

Sandburg's Solution (Carl Sandburg)
Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.

The Rule regarding Growing Old
Don't fret old age, it is a privilege denied to many.

Rule of Illusionary Value
Most people will sacrifice more and fight harder to protect a valuable illusion than they will to defend an unglamorous truth.

Rule of Wrong Lessons
If the student, friend or companion is not permitted or encouraged to question; not permitted or encouraged to a dialog; the principle lesson learned is indifference.

Rule Regarding Mind Reading
If men and women were really capable of reading each others' minds, most would be either too embarrassed or too angry to ever face each other again.

Harold E. Kohn's Rule
Brooks become crooked by following the path of least resistance. So do people.

Galbraith's Rule of Choices
Faced with a choice between changing one's mind and proving that there is no need to do so, almost everybody gets busy on the proof. - John Kenneth Galbraith

Lincoln's Criteria
Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. - Abraham Lincoln

Seneca's Note
Men do not care how nobly they live, but only how long, although it is within the reach of every man to live nobly, but within no man's power to live long. - Seneca (5BC - 65AD)

E. E. Cumming's Rule of Conquest
To be nobody-but-yourself - in a world which is doing its best night and day to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.-- e.e. cummings

The Rule of HALT
When Hungry, Angry, Lonely and/or Tired, stop what you are doing and take care of yourself. -Shi Shen Long

Rule of Veracity
People will believe a lie if they want it to be true or if they are afraid that it is true.

The Four Fears
There are four types of fear. In descending order, they are:
1. The fear of losing what you have.
2. The fear of acquiring what you don't want.
3. The fear of not getting what you want.
4. The fear of not losing what you don't want.

Karpman's Rule - The Drama Triangle
In any drama there are three and only three roles: Victim , Persecutor and Rescuer. Roles can shift in a matter of moments, and any actor can take on any role. (Stephen B. Karpman 1968)

Rule of Realism
Enlightenment does not equal perfection. Rather, it is the simple acceptance of one's unique situation in this life, as authenticated through rigorous self-honesty.

Rule of Buddhist Action
Cease to do harm. Do only good. Do good for others.

Rule of Acculturation
We are all limited by our cultural upbringing, and there is not one person who is free from the acculturation process. This is not a limitation but a natural reflection of dependent origination. Just as human communication is culturally mediated, fish must breathe through gills. I've never met a fish audacious enough to proclaim, "we fish are not truly bound by our gills in this world." Culture, though malleable, is part and parcel of life as a human being.

Rorty's Rule
Take care of freedom and truth will take care of itself.
(Richard Rorty, Pragmatist and CPB supporter)

Hanlon's Razor
Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Rule of Relative Humor
"I would laugh too if he wasn't mine"(Wife when she saw her husband drunk on the street in the middle of the day.)

Thought for the Day

The cure for anything is salt water — sweat, tears, or the sea.

 

--Karen Blixen

Come Join the Feast-Reflection for the Day

While being "less than mobile" during this past month I have been using my Netflix account to catch up on the films I always wanted to view.  Some selections were welcomed repeats from my college days (I mean, seriously, when is a working mom ever going to carve out 4 hours to watch Jean de Florette/Manon de Source in its entirety?).  Others were BBC recommendations (such as the Mayor of Castorbridge which stars one of my favorite brit actors--Cieran Hinds).  However, the biggest surprise was "Babette's Feast" which was a slow, quiet presentation of the lives of two devout sisters.  The film, which is an adaptation of an Isak Dinesan (Karen Blixen) story has given me pause and I want to try and share the thoughts and feelings it has inspired.

 

The two devout sisters live and serve their neighbors in their small Jutland village.  As they worship together they consistently sing a hymn with the words....

 

Jerusalem, my heart's true home
Your name is forever dear to me.
Your kindness is second to none
You keep us clothed and fed
Never would you give a stone
To the child who begs for bread

 

 

Never would you give a stone
To the child who begs for bread

 

 

To me, this theme is the core message of the film.  Even though both sisters choose to stay and serve in their small community (instead of pursuing worldly honors with the opportunities that are presented to them when they are younger), they end up receiving everything that matters most (the bread of life) and receive a feast worthy of nobility. 

 

And, all those who partake in the feast (which is a symbol of the Eucharist) are changed by the experience. 

 

So, even though we are serving our little circle of family, friends, and associates and the majority of our efforts are unnoticed or unknown, it will all be for good as is stated at the end of the film:

 

Babette:  Throughout the world sounds one long cry from the heart of the artist:

Give me the chance to do my very best.

Philippa: But that is not the end, Babette, I'm certain of that. In Paradise, you will be the great artist that God meant you to be. Ah, how you will delight the angels!.

 

That we may all have the chance to do our very best.

Testimony of Gratitude-Matthew 25

As I have been extremely blessed these past couple of weeks by those in my family and church family,  the following scripture has come to mind.  I hope that all those who have been and continue to be so good to me realize how grateful I am to them and to my Heavenly Father for sending them into my life.

 

35 For I was an ^ahungred, and ye ^bgave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a ^cstranger, and ye took me in:

  36 Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye ^avisited me: I was in ^bprison, and ye came unto me.

  37 Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?

  38 When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?

  39 Or when saw we thee ^asick, or in prison, and came unto thee?

  40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have ^adone it unto one of the ^bleast of these my ^cbrethren, ye have done it unto me.

 34 Then shall the King say unto them on his ^aright hand, Come, ye ^bblessed of my Father, ^cinherit the ^dkingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:

Be Still

The last ten days have offered me the unique opportunity to "be still" and think about my relationship with God. As I have reflected on this relationship, I have realized that I need to slow down and let Him be with me throughout my day and not be so "busy" that I don't listen to his loving guidance. I like to be independent, to show how strong and capable I am, and to keep my head above water through my own dog paddling. I need to remember that everything I have is from God and that without Him I am nothing. When I let Him into my life, I am able to let go of my selfish pride and focus on what matters most. Then, I truly enjoy the moments that make up my life.