As a disclaimer, you will soon notice from the tone of my posts, that I am not a scholar. I admire those who are and I enjoy reading their work. So..the following diatribe is not in any way, shape, or form a lit review or scholarly analysis. It is simply one set of observations.
I have observed over the years that everyone is different (duh)! and yet we have so very much in common. I dislike labels and am still working on ridding myself of the tendency for my mind to categorize people. When it comes to faith, everyone definitely has their own set of beliefs and experiences (whether in Darwin, Paganism, Mother Earth, Buddha, or Jesus, etc...). I have observed, however, that regardless of WHAT the belief system is, there is some universal "truths and consequences" to whether a person is acting out of faith or using "faith" to mask fear or support limiting beliefs.
To me, this is where the intention part plays in. What is my intention? If I am using my mormon "faith" as a way to stay in my comfort zone, to create a "bubble" in which to safely live, and to continue to perpetuate a "reality" that makes me feel safe and secure, is it really "faith" or is it "fear" that is driving my actions?
I have met so many people who live in such fear (and I was one of them). Fear of making a mistake...fear of having to stretch... fear of actually becoming something different (even if it is new or better). People will be extremely creative in finding ways to maintain the "status quo". I love the quote by Nelson Mandela which states:
Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, fabulous, gorgeous, talented? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. You’re playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that’s within us. It’s not just in some of us. It’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we automatically give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fears, our presence automatically liberates others.
What are your thoughts on faith and fear? Do you think that the intention behind the action is more important than the action?
4 comments:
What we need is to take a step back and ask, 'If we were faced with the choice today without sunk costs, what decision would we make?'
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/12/03/AR2006120300932.html
The WaPo article is a quick read, it's about psychological entrapment, the context is Iraq, but reading it brought to mind questions from your post.
The answer to the last question in your post would seem to be a pretty easy 'No' ... as the saying goes, 'The road to hell is paved with good intentions.' To answer otherwise would allow us to dodge accountability for our errors in judgement.
You seem to be using 'faith' to signify two different things here:
"If I am using my mormon 'faith' as a way to stay in my comfort zone, to create a 'bubble' in which to safely live, and to continue to perpetuate a 'reality' that makes me feel safe and secure, is it really 'faith' or is it 'fear' that is driving my actions?"
The first 'faith' reads like 'faith' as in 'allegiance/denomination/orthodoxy', but the second 'faith' reads like 'faith' as in 'belief/hope' ... I think this struck me because your list of fears seems to be all about the anxiety of stepping outside orthodoxy. Do you feel it's 'faith' or 'fear' driving your allegiance to Mormonism?
By the time I was 18 or so, I didn't feel all that comfortable in the Mormon church. Stuck with it long enough to complete a mission, soon after which I decided to take on faith Galileo's advice that I need not feel "obliged to believe that the same G-d who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.”
During the time I was contemplating this leap of faith out of Mormon orthodoxy, I did feel fear, of the never-pleasant 'what if I'm condemning myself to eternal damnation?' variety (or worse yet, the 'what if I'm condemning my parents and family to being stuck in the Celestial Kingdom for all eternity without me?" variety) ... in any event, as the saying goes "this too shall pass" ... and as the fear subsided, a new faith took its place.
When I look back, I do wish that I'd had access to all the resources that are available now for those who need reassurances that they are not condemning themselves or their families by leaving their allegiance to orthodox Mormonism behind ... I was fortunate in my early twenties to work at the NYPL and have access to source documents that helped put my mind at ease about parting ways with the religion I'd been brought up in, but in the 16 years since then, it's certainly become a lot easier to find materials about the Second Great Awakening, Jacksonian America, antecedents to the BofM, etc., that help 'apostates' like me feel confident that we made the right call and let go ...
Just to wrap up (hey, these are supposed to be 'ramblings', right?), as you may have gathered, I can't see as there is much truth to Mormonism, except for the truth that if you bring a bunch of basically decent folks together to get good things done, whatever the theology or ideology, to the extent that these folks are coming together and supporting each other, it's all well and good, and I can imagine people for whom it may be of great benefit.
But, for me, I'd have stayed in only out of fear, and I just can't imagine a G-d Who would expect, require or bless such a commitment ...
My holidays are over and I'll be taking a break from posting, what I'm afraid might seem like, haranguing comments on this site, which I'm actually really glad is here now (even if the siteowner may be regretting that she ever let me know it was up ... hope not :-)
Just to relate my latest brush with Mormonism, I had the missionaries over at the house recently. Before their latest visit, they'd come over a few times and presented a discussion, said some prayers, and basically gotten to know my family. Living in Taiwan, I felt they might enjoy visiting an American and chatting up a prospect in English for a change, and I thought that letting my wife and kids gain a little exposure to the religious tradition I grew up with seemed like a worthwhile enough idea.
I suppose I wasn't really prepared for my own visceral response when they got around to discussing their views on the afterlife and eternal families. What a sad state of affairs that a church that professes to preach the gospel of Christ can at the same time hold to a conception of a G-d that is so utterly rigid and cruel ... not that the idea of an authoritarian G-d is at all unique to the Mormons, but they certainly have tailored a doctrine about families that provides for maximum shame, guilt and distress for any parent or child who chooses not to conform or who has a non-conforming family member ... After asking the Elders to leave, I realized that no matter how open I may try to keep myself to the idea that Mormonism is not 'bad' -- that those who participate do so freely and may in fact reap benefits they feel are commensurate with their sacrifices -- for myself, I cannot escape the sense that it is, when all is said and done, a cult.
It pains me to admit this, but there it is. I can no longer imagine any way that I might some day contemplate my own children being initiated into the temple without recoiling at the thought of perpetuating such a bizarre coming of age ritual. I remember my own initiation, and feeling at that time that sense of, ah hah, so here is the supreme silliness that binds us true believers and separates us from the mainstream, yanks us out of the messy history and humanity from whence we came and joins us with the ranks of eternal secret-keepers ...
In any case, the further I've left Omelas behind, the better life has been. Granted, experience may vary. But, for any true believing Mormon who may be reading this, I challenge you to test your faith and take a year off, set aside time on Sunday for your own independent study of Mormonism coupled with a tour of your local churches, a different one every Sunday would be grand, take advantage of the religious freedom that our great country recognizes as a G-d-given right, and then return to the fold, if you choose, in the knowledge that you've done more than simply accept received wisdom by accident of birth.
If you fear G-d would hold you in judgement for embarking on such a year of study, I can only submit that you imagine an excessively petty and jealous G-d ... What G-d would punish you for attempting to better understand the incredible variety of believers to be found in Creation? The same G-d Who blessed you with faculties of reason and judgement? I humbly suggest not, and would suggest that your own first Prophet of the Restoration has issued similar advice. If it is so infrequently heeded by his followers, the fault is theirs, not his.
older singer said...
That's the kind of recess that makes us forget what we're learning.
It sounds to me that what you are learning is that it is forbidden to take a recess. In any case, recess is your word. The invitation was to attend other churches for a year, not to take a break. I assume the gospel you speak of is that taught by Christ. Is it only available at your church?
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