Heard at the water cooler...

"Here's my take on the 2008 presidential race. There's no doubt history is in the making. We may have either the first Black president, the first Woman president or the first Mormon president. Why not kill three birds with one stone and elect Gladys Knight and call it a day?" --Dale Mauritsen

Fun Post from www.timesandseasons.org

From the Archives: The Talk I've Never Given

by Julie M. Smith www.timesandseasons.org

Good morning, sisters and brothers. Well, those of you in the audience who know me know that I have a real interest in gender issues; some of you know that I specialized in such things in school. And I continue to read about and think about these things quite a bit. And I think I can finally say that I have come to a conclusion.

And my conclusion is this: the Church is sexist. (Steal glance over shoulder at bishop's face if possible.) And, quite frankly, (pause here for effect) I don't know why you men put up with it.

I have tried every apologetic tactic, every twisted reading of scripture and policy that I can think of, but in the last analysis, the current doctrine and practice of the Church just simply isn't fair to men. And I cannot remain silent any longer while my brothers suffer. Let me share with you some of my observations.

First, although I know that you, my dear brothers, serve worthily in the positions to which you are called, I also know that many faithful LDS men wonder why their spheres are so limited. You know that you will never lead the Primary; you know that you will not be allowed to work with young children without supervision; and you feel the limitation. You struggle with this, I know. You know which part of the building our Savior would visit, should he come to our meetings here today, and you know that your gender is grossly underrepresented there. You feel the sting, and I feel for you. I want to assure you that this division of labor in no way implies that God loves you any less than he does his daughters.

You long for equity in your marriage relationships, for you know that this is pleasing to the heavens. But then you also know that the General Handbook of Instructions makes clear that, when it comes to the most important decision couples will make, having children, it is your wife, and not you, who will have the greater voice. You struggle with this, and wonder where is justice. Please be assured, my dear brethren, that God cares as much for His sons as He does for his daughters.

You work long hours, many of you, to support your families. But you know that your work, be you lawyer, doctor, or farmer, is not of an eternal nature. You see your wives getting to devote their best efforts to children; to work that is eternal; to work with rewards that span the eternities; and you know that the rewards of your work are filthy lucre, and you wonder why the powers that be have once again limited your sphere to such trivial things. You know, of course, that if God were to fill out one of those forms, the most correct box to check for occupation would be 'stay-at-home parent', and you weep that you are denied the privilege of following in the divine footsteps. I feel your pain.

You turn to the scriptures for solace, as we all should. Just don't turn to the Gospel of Mark. We know of the searing gender inequities in this text, in what most believe to be the earliest Gospel, in this precious record of the life of Christ. We find the male disciples plodding along, mere foils for Jesus to educate, while the women around Jesus time and again display faithfulness and prophetic gifts in abundance. We know this makes you question your very worth as sons of the divine. We know this hurts. We know that you know that not a single story relates either resurrection or raising from the dead without including women as main characters in the story. We know you wonder about this.

I know how difficult it is for you to even go to Church, where your Elder's Quorum instructors apologize for not preparing a lesson, while you know that next door, the Relief Society teacher may very well be apologizing for not preparing a centerpiece. You know that women's classes and meetings in Church are generally better prepared, more open, and more meaningful. I know you wonder why this is. You are full aware that the main job of the Elder's Quorum is to move heavy things, while your sisters in the Relief Society take care of each other in a truly profound way; sisters bind the broken hearts and heal the wounded souls; men move pianos. We nonetheless want to assure you that you are truly full participants in God's plan of salvation.

I want you to know, my dear brothers, that all of the injustices you suffer due to your gender in this earthly state will be recompensed in the eternities.

Most of you thought I was joking when I wrote this. I'm not entirely sure that I was. I may possibly have been making a wee bit of fun of the Unintentionally Condescending Speech Patten ™ sometimes aimed at women in the Church, but as far as content, I think I meant it. We code the most important activities and behaviors as women's in this Church. I know of a (male) CES employee who has a huge quote on his office wall about motherhood being the highest calling on earth. What does it do to you to spend all of your working hours in front of a piece of paper reminding you that you will never do the most important work on earth?

Permanent Link : Comments (19)

Responding to Comments

Chino Blanco said...

In the spirit of G.K. Chesterton --

"It is not bigotry to be certain we are right; but it is bigotry to be unable to imagine how we might possibly have gone wrong." - The Catholic Church and Conversion

-- I applaud the new polygamy pages on the BYU website:

New BYU Polygamy Website

The church sets a better example for its members when it attempts to grapple with, rather than ignore, its own history.

I agree.

Chino Blanco said...

With apologies to Russell Arben Fox, here goes my adaptation of his comment today over at Times & Seasons:

[Mormon culture] reminds me of those deaf parents who are so committed to the admittedly impressive culture that the unhearing have made for themselves that they actually become hostile towards new technologies that can return hearing to babies born deaf.

There are days that I feel like the hearing son of loving deaf parents. I feel the beauty of the sacrifice and effort of my Mormon pioneer forebears, but the cruel (wonderful?) reality is that I was born with ears that hear.

Should I pretend not to hear, for the sake of keeping up appearances, for the sake of family unity, for the sake of the "culture"? Is this what is being asked of me? If I refuse, am I "anti-deaf" or am I, quite simply, whole?

I can't speak to the beauty of the sacrifice or effort of my Mormon pioneer forbears because I honestly don't know much about what they sacrificed above and beyond what anyone's ancestors sacrificed...  charting new territory, surviving harsh conditions, etc...  I suppose they were simply doing the same thing we do.  Trying to survive and make the best of life.  You (and everyone on this planet) should absolutely pursue wholeness in whatever form that means to you.  And you are right about the labels.  None of us is a label and we are entitled to our own thoughts, ideas, and pursuits.

Bishop Stendahl's Three Rules

Rule 1: Ask Adherents, Not Enemies

 

Rule 2: Don't Compare Your Best with Their Worst

 

Rule 3: Leave Room for Holy Envy

 

Full article at:  http://www.fairlds.org/Anti-Mormons/Critics_of_the_LDS_Faith.html

 

See more about Bishop Stendahl below.

 

CIU Honors Bishop Krister Stendahl with 'Faith in Dialogue Award'

The Center for Interreligious Understanding honored Bishop Krister Stendahl with the first-ever "Faith in Dialogue Award" for lifetime achievement in interreligious leadership on November 13, 2003 at Congregation Emanu-El in New York City.

Bishop Stendahl is among the world's foremost champions for interfaith dialogue and understanding. A leader of the ecumenical movement for more than 40 years, he has challenged religious leaders and laity to think anew about their relationship with people of different faiths. Stendahl is the former Dean of the Harvard Divinity School, Bishop of Stockholm, Sweden, and Professor at Brandeis University.

"At a time when religious conflicts divide neighbors and nations, we believe it is important to recognize extraordinary individuals who are building bridges of understanding across all faiths," said Jack Bemporad, the director of the CIU. "Bishop Krister Stendahl has dedicated his life to promoting theological dialogue, mutual respect and genuine understanding."

A renowned biblical scholar who has written extensively on the Apostle Paul, Bishop Stendahl has dedicated much of his career to counteracting negative stereotypes of Jews and women. As chair of the World Council of Church's work on "The Church and the Jewish People," he has called on religious leaders to "learn the art of living among other faiths" and to "find new ways to affirm the other's humanity" as a way of participating fully in a pluralistic society.

"Bishop Stendahl consistently reminds us that the health of a democratic society depends upon learning to examine ourselves and our traditions in the light of the other," Bemporad said. "He has challenged us to use our common religious values to build a society based on diversity, justice and peace."

Stendahl is the author of several books including Paul Among Jews and Gentiles; The Bible and the Role of Women; Energy for Life; Final Account: Paul's Letter to the Romans; and The School of St. Matthew & Its Use of the Old Testament . He is married to the writer and scholar Dr. Brita Stendahl.